Steve and Thor's Wacky Adventures
by Marie Nomad
Summary: Steve and Thor has started getting drunk on a regular basis thanks to some uber powerful wine. Inspired by 'It Seems Like A Good Idea At The Time' by Livin4Jesus. This chapter: Steve feels guilty about the Comic Con incident. That's when that he and Thor discovers the Geek Court. Guest Stars! If you have ideas for chapters, feel free to PM me.
1. Finishing a Monument

This is inspired by "It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time" by Livin4Jesus. Feel free to read that fic. Remember, drinking and having super powers is dangerous. All characters belong to Marvel.

Finished

By Marie Nomad

His head pounded as Steve slowly sat up. His brain was throbbing and He struggled to stand up and saw that he was leaning on a tree, he was in a forest. He tried to examine his surrounds and saw for some reason, there were several worn down hammer and chisel sets on the ground.

"What year is this?" He muttered as Steve fumbled around for his starkphone and to his relief, it showed that he was knocked out for only a day.

"Steven?" Thor spoke up and Steve saw that the god was there looking disheveled. "The party we attended was quite impressive."

"Party?" Steve stumbled toward the Thor that he was sure was real. "So, this is what a hangover feels like?" He never had a hangover before. His stomach was twisting and turning and he wanted to throw up. The birds were shrieking, the ground smelled too strong, and he was sure the sunlight turned up high. If this is what a hangover felt like, he didn't want one again. How could Tony and Clint handle hangovers on a daily basis?

"Ah, it can be a problem. Here, drink some water." Thor offered Steve his canteen. Steve poured the water down his throat and his head became clearer. It gradually came back to him. They had met the real Hercules who was another alien which the Ancient Greeks called a god. He was like Tony Stark only with super strength. Hercules offered him and Thor some of his finest and strongest wines. Steve pointed out that he couldn't get drunk but the Greek God told him that it was the most potent wine known in the Universe created. The first drink, he felt pretty happy. No wonder the prohibition had failed. The second drink made him say things that he normally wouldn't say, especially in front of women. He couldn't remember what happened after the third drink.

"Oh, Hercules."

"Yes, his wine is very potent."

"At least we didn't do anything stupid like Clint and Tony do all the time."

"Their antics make for interesting stories to tell my friends in Asgard."

"I still don't know how he keeps on getting his cars in that tower." Steve looked around to find out where he was. The air was cold and he was surrounded by very tall pine trees.

"There is a massive statue with four of your rulers on it. The Mountain of Rushmore?"

"Oh yeah." Steve smiled as he remembered reading the newspapers on it. It was an ambitious project in his time and it was stopped because of funding. He blinked as he stared at the mountain. It looked more detailed than he remembered. Roosevelt, Lincoln, and Jefferson had finished torsos when before it was just a bunch of heads. "I thought that they never finished it."

"They didn't." Thor paused when he glanced on his belt to see that he had a set of chisels. "You do not think that we..."

"There you are!" Rescue screamed as she landed in front of the two. Steve and Thor stepped back. Before, Pepper Potts was fierce and a force to be reckoned with. Now that she has her own set of armor, she could be downright scary. "What the hell were you thinking?! You defaced a national monument! The Lakota Tribe is pissed at this! I'm getting calls from all over the place because they thought that Tony's involved in this somehow and for once he's not! And now, the Federal Government wants your heads for this! We just finished repairing the damage Tony and Clint did with the other monuments! Why did you do this?!"

Steve smiled helplessly and he could only think of one explanation. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

The End


	2. Elderly Harem

Due to popular request (and I couldn't resist it), here's another chapter of the fic. First of all, all Avengers belong to Marvel. The surprise guest star belongs to 20th Century Fox. I really want to thank this chapter's betareader, Para Prosdokia. She really helped out with the guest star.

Steve and Thor's Wacky Adventures

Chapter: Elderly Harem

By Marie Nomad

"No." Steve said for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Why not? You need to relax." Tony said as he waved the bottle full of his version of Hercules' special wine. "If I remember correctly, you had fun."

"My head was pounding and I nearly threw up."

"And all it took was a glass of water and you were back to normal. I wish Clint and I could recover from hangovers as fast as you."

Steve sighed. Ever since the Mt. Rushmore Incident, Tony have been pestering him to get drunk again. He didn't like the idea of losing control of his actions. "I'm not like you. Somebody could go hurt."

"Hey, I piloted a suit loaded with enough power to level a city while drunk and everything turned out okay." Steve stared at him. "I didn't break anything that wasn't mine. Besides, you are more of a benevolent drunk. You like to do stuff to help others."

"I defaced a national monument!"

"I wouldn't say defaced it. More like finish it. You just need to relax. Let your hair down. Just a tip, take Thor with you. Being drunk with friends just adds on to the fun." Tony handed Steve the bottle and walked away.

Steve sighed as he glanced at the bottle. Maybe if he was careful, he wouldn't destroy anything. "Thor! Let's take another stab at the wine!"

Several drinks later...

Steve opened his eyes and the first thing he noticed was that he was wearing only underwear. The second thing he noticed was the floor was littered with half naked old people. He stumbled to the nearest sink and drank some water. "Thor?"

"Here!" Thor held up his hand. He was shirtless. "We have an elderly harem." Thor said with a strange sense of pride.

"Tony is going to kill me." Steve muttered as he studied the damage. There were empty bottles of booze everywhere. "JARVIS? Are our guests okay and who are they?"

"They are all currently sleeping and in better condition than when they arrived. The BSA would be proud. They are guests from the Golden Years Retirement Home in New York City; veterans and spouses of veterans."

"Oh... that was fun." An elderly man reached up and wrapped his arm around Steve's broad shoulders. He laughed. "I haven't been to a party like this since that party after Bin Ladin died." He grabbed his cane and patted Steve's arm. "You threw a hell of a party, Son."

"Thanks. This is going to sound stupid but who are you?"

"It's okay, I've get that question all the time. Captain Hawkeye Pierce," his salute is somehow lazy, mocking, and somehow respectful all at once. Steve wouldn't believe it possible if he hadn't seen the same salute from Tony countless times, "Retired. Or at least I was 'Hawkeye' before your teammate stole my name. These days I mostly go by Ben; or Dr. Pierce if I'm trying to impress the ladies," he smiled and once again Steve was struck by the resemblance to his teammate. "I had no idea that you were such a party animal. I always thought that you were a bit up tight. I was wrong."

"Thanks, I think," Steve watched as the elderly doctor helped the other senior citizens to their feet and they started to sort their discarded clothing. "So, what war did you serve in?"

"Korea. Courtesy of Uncle Sam's draft. I was there for three years, but God knows it felt like eleven. What a lousy, senseless, war. I was a surgeon- 4077th," he swallowed, a haunted look shadowing his eyes, "I saw kids mutilated. Soldiers shellshocked. I had to fight not only death on daily basis but the whole damned system. It was Hell."

"I'm sorry."

Thor bowed his head toward the old man. "I know naught of this Korea War that you speak of but any healer willing to brave the ravages of war to aid others is a truly honorable man. I thank you for your brave service."

"I'm just a doctor, but thanks. But what I did was nothing compared to you two; you saved the world."

"What the hell is going on?!" Tony shouted as he entered the room. as he entered the room," There're naked old... old people everywhere! I need brain bleach!" He howled, covering his eyes.

"What? Like this is the first time you've seen an orgy." Stark's expression was priceless, "I've seen your tapes, Mr. Stark."

"That's different! Those are hot young models! These people are old enough to be my parents. I feel nauseous. You clean up around here. It's your party." Tony pointed at Steve and stumbled away. "Booze... I need booze..."

Steve and Dr. Peirce sighed. "Young people." The doctor muttered.

"Tell me about it." Steve nodded, "Was there an orgy?"

"No, but it's not every day I get to pull Tony Stark's leg."

Later as Dr. Pierce helped his friend, Margaret, with her shoes Steve confessed, "I think that every time I get drunk, I do something crazy for the greater good."

"Sounds like a pattern. I suggest you keep on doing it. See what happens. Maybe you and Thor will finish more of the government's unfinished projects or throw some more parties."

"Old people teeth are in my couch! I touched old people teeth!" Tony yelled.

"Well," Steve shrugged, "maybe."

The end

In case you didn't notice, the special guest star is Hawkeye Peirce from MASH.


	3. Redemption of Steve

The three geeks are actual reviewers. But they are characters created for reviewing. I didn't create them. Many thanks to my betareader Para Prosdokia for her help.

Steve and Thor's wacky adventures

The Redemption of Steve

By Marie Nomad

Steve sighed as he lay on the sofa. Thor walked into the living room. "You look sad, my captain. Are you depressed about what happened at the gathering of nerds and geeks?"

"I helped Tony and Clint wrecked a comic book convention. Those are just a bunch of fans. I loved comics too, when I was a kid. I even wanted to be a comic book artist." Steve glanced at the alien, "I messed up."

"Tony was the one who have caused the most of destruction."

"But I should have tried to stop him even while I was drunk."

"There was nothing you could do. Let us go and remedy this situation with this special elixir." Thor stated as he held up the bottle.

Steve blinked. "Your idea of solving a situation caused by getting drunk is to get drunk?"

"Aye!"

The soldier pondered and since he couldn't think of anything to help those poor fans sober, maybe he could try to do it drunk. "Why not?"

A few drinks later...

Steve woke up with the familiar throbbing headache. "Did we fix things?" He found himself in a dark room with three chairs above him. "Where are we?"

"We appear to be in a room of judgment, what you mortals call 'a court room'."

"What did we do this time?" Steve asked as he drank his glass of water.

"Captured us." Tony answered. Steve and Thor looked to see Tony and Clint tied up in straitjackets looking annoyed. "You got drunk and dragged us here to get judged."

"I thought the charges were dropped when you paid for the damages."

"By the criminal courts. Not by the Geek Court."

"The Geek Court?"

Three young men walked up to the chairs and sat down. The one to the left was a young man with dark curly hair, wide brown eyes, and wore a t-shirt. The one in the middle was dressed in a black ball cap, a jacket, a white t-shirt, and a tie. The one to the right was wearing a tilby, glasses, a plaid shirt, and a jacket. All three of them looked pissed.

"Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic."

"Hello, I'm Linkara."

"And I'm The Spoony One."

"Why do you call yourself, the Spoony One? Are you an expert in the act of spooning?" Thor asked.

"Well, actually, it's a funny story involving a bard-"

"Guys! We're here to judge Iron Man and Hawkeye!" Linkara snapped.

"Fine." Spoony rolled his eyes.

"So, you three managed to destroy Comic Con while drunk? How do you plead?" Nostalgia Critic asked staring at the two.

"We did it. No excuses. There was this one guy who said that I'm not Iron Man and that my costume wasn't not accurate. I showed him." Tony replied.

"That was... easy! Now to the punishment! BWAHAHAHAHA!" Lightning flashed all over the reviewer. The Avengers looked over at Thor who held up his hands.

"It was not me."

"Ideas for any interesting punishments?" Nostalgia Critic rubbed his hands.

"We turn them into animals!" Spoony yelled.

"We've been turned into animals." Tony admitted.

"Put them through... the Hunger Games challenge!" Nostalgia Critic boomed.

"Been through that." Clint shrugged.

"Must go through the Wipe Out arena on the roof top of a really high building?" Linkara asked.

"Done that."

Nostalgia Critic glared at the two. "Well that's just dandy! Conference!" The three geeks huddled up and they whispered back and forth. Steve listened the best that he could but all he could hear is 'That's harsh.' and 'That's just cruel.'

Finally, the three broke apart. Nostalgia Critic cleared his throat and stated. "You are superheroes. You're supposed to protect us, not threaten us. We respect you and your work unless a bad movie or comic shows up and we will rip it to shreds. On behalf of geeks and nerds everywhere, I hereby punish you with BATTLEFIELD EARTH!"

Tony's face paled. "No!"

"Yes! We'll tie you up and gag you and sit you between a pair of fan girls! I guarantee you that by the end of the movie, you both will be a pair of crybabies all cuddled up on your girlfriends' laps!" Nostalgia Critic added on.

Steve and Thor looked at each other. "I have watched this Battlefield Earth. The aliens are not impressive." Thor commented.

"I can't have this. Tony and Clint just recovered from the party I threw for the vets."

"Oh... the old people orgy." Spoony winced.

"There was no orgy. I don't think there is." Steve argued.

"Well, since I'm patriotic and your movie's awesome. What do you suggest?" Nostalgia Critic asked.

Steve glanced at Tony. He knew that Tony had to learn a lesson and those fans at Comic Con must get justice. "Tony has some geek stuff like authentic custom outfits, a lightsaber, and even a TARDIS."

"Does it work?" Linkara asked.

"Well, I couldn't get it to travel in time, yet." Tony replied.

"I see."

Nostalgia Critic stroked his goatee. "This puts a new slant into this. I am giving you two choices, you can either sit through Battlefield Earth tied and gagged while sitting between two fangirls or you can give away your geek stash where we will raise funds to repair Comic Con and help our fellow geeks. The choice is yours."

* * *

"Next up is an authentic Dr. Who TARDIS! Note, it won't travel in space and time." The auctioneer stated.

"Awww..." The fans moaned.

"I haven't had time to conquer time travel yet." Tony bristled as he and his fellow Avengers watched Tony's secret stash get auctioned off.

"I'm sorry you can't buy your stuff back." Steve said as he watched the various fans bidding on Tony's stuff.

"It's just stuff. I can replace it or build it." Tony shrugged. "At least they will be put to good use."

"True."

"I'm sorry about the mess I made and dragging you and Clint into it."

"It's okay."

The group kept on watching. "I'm going to build a real TARDIS." Tony announced.

The End


End file.
